Name:Sarah Country:United States State:Illinois Metro:Aurora Gender:Female
Interests:listening to music, driving, hanging out with my girlfriends, reading books, sleeping, taking bubble baths, hanging out with my boyfriend, watching movies, going out, SHOPPING!!!! Expertise:Being Crazy!!! Occupation:Teller Industry:Banking
Sorry, guys. Didn't mean to post that video, whatever it was. I hit the wrong thing.
I realize that I've been absent from here for awhile, but I don't really have the time to blog a lot now that I'm in grad school in addition to working almost full time. But, it's okay. My thoughts and daily goings on were never really that interesting anyway. If you really want to keep up with what's new with me, just check Facebook. I do keep up with that regularly...
This year has been one of the most difficult in my life, with one notable exception (of course, my wedding day). I lost my Gramie, my Grandfather, and almost my mother all in the span of five months. But in that time, I learned a lot of lessons about family and friends that I wanted to share with you here today. What I have lost this year has made me really appreciate what I still have. So here goes- this is what I'm grateful for this year.
1. I still have my Mom. I don't know what I would do without her. I'm not going to tell you that our relationship changed because of this, because it really didn't. My mom and I started getting close my freshman year of college when we commuted into Judson together. But if I lost her when I was only 25, I don't know what I would do. I still wake up every day afraid that I'm going to get that call.
2. Jason. If I didn't have him with me as my rock, I wouldn't be here anymore. Not to get dramatic and say that I would have killed myself, because I think my family and friends were really concerned about that. What I mean is that if I didn't have him, I would have honestly lost touch with reality. I think I would have had to check myself into an institution. Luckily, he stood by me through everything, working 11 hour days during the week of my grandfather's funeral so he could be there for everything. He's been absolutely wonderful this whole time, and I don't know where I would be without him.
3. My family. My extended family has really come together through this- both sides. There was a lot of drama before Gramie died and we got married, but my mom's family all drove to Gramie's wake or funeral and was there for my Dad's side. My Dad's side all came to my grandpa's wake to be there for them. My aunts on both sides who really didn't like each other have forged a bond through their mutual losses. And everyone is really concerned about me (for some reason). Everyone has been emailing me regularly, and calling. The whole family really bonded together, especially during my mother's heart attack. I can't even explain how amazing this was.
4. Colton. I'm grateful to Colton for enriching my life. I know I get angry with him sometimes because I don't understand where he comes from, but I can't imagine my life without him in it. He's a great kid, and I'm very lucky to have him in my life. We don't always see eye to eye, but we do love each other. And isn't that the way it is with most family members?
5. Friends. My friends have helped me through my rough times. This includes my coworkers, who wouldn't let me be alone the Monday I came to work after my Gramie died, because they knew I would start thinking and then be a mess. This includes Kristin, who emails me every day at work and brightens my day, and made me feel so special on my wedding day and through all the showers. And all my high school friends and college friends who were there for me during my mom's heart attack, praying for her and asking for updates.
6. Doggies. I love my doggies. I'm sure most people wouldn't understand it, but they really are like my children. When I get home, Bandit comes by me, ready to be picked up so that he can give me kisses. I had a terrible nightmare the other night, and when I woke up, Beasley was right there to give me kisses and calm me down. I was never a dog person before we got the shih tzus, but now I don't know what we did without them. Sadie is great, too. She's always coming and laying at my feet, and putting her face on my legs and giving me sad puppy eyes. She's very needy- she always needs to be touched.
I know I have a lot more to be grateful for. I still have my job, I got into grad school (though I'll be more grateful if I pass stats this semester), we have all our needs and wants met right now. But these are just the highlights.
My grandfather was a simple man. I didn't really get to know him that well until I was in college. He's very quiet until he knows that you share an interest, then he comes up to you and starts a conversation. When I was a freshman in college, I took a woodworking class (I don't remember what it was called anymore. I'm sure I could think of it if I really tried...), and this started our real relationship. See, my grandfather made the most beautiful dollhouses, so he was very into the types of things that I was learning in my class. One day, we were in LaSalle for one of our annual trips, and he came up to me out of the blue and asked me to come down to his woodshop in the basement. He showed me around, and we spent about an hour down there, just talking. I don't think he had spoken more than two sentences together to me before that. It's not that he didn't love me. He just didn't believe in wasting words. But when he spoke about something he was passionate about, it was hard to get him to stop talking.
Being the oldest granddaughter (and grandchild, for that matter), I was the first one who got a dollhouse. I have the first one he ever made. One Christmas, when I was about 6 years old, he brought it up for the basement for me. Not only did he make the dollhouse for me, but he made all of the little furniture to go in the house for me. The only thing he ever bought was the family for the house. As he went on making dollhouses, he got better at them. He learned how to make windows that really opened, and the actual designs of the house were more elaborate. When I was older, in about 4th grade, I asked him to make me another dollhouse. He did, happily. When I thanked him profusely, he shrugged it off like he always does.
In recent years, I've learned even more about him. He and Jason are very similar. I've never seen him open up so much as he did with Jason. He really took a liking to him. Jason likes to work with his hands, so I told Jason to ask him about his woodshop. They went there one night when we were in LaSalle, and before I knew it, it was midnight, and I was practically asleep on the couch. He not only took him into his shop, but showed him the classic car he restored and took to car shows all over the state. From that point on, every time I went to family parties, I never saw Jason because my grandpa would literally kidnap him the moment we got in the door. I loved it, though. It was nice to see him open up.
When my Gramie died in May, I had a sudden, irrational fear of losing him even though he was healthy. It seemed that he was going to be around forever. He had a bout with testicular cancer a few years ago, but he beat that with little problem. When we went to LaSalle earlier in the month, there were some whisperings of him not feeling well, and he looked rather thin, but he didn't seem to let it get to him. He seemed like his normal self. It got worse last week, and my great uncle made him go to the hospital for tests. He was not happy about it. The doctors eventually diagnosed him with Chron's disease, and he was going to be released on Monday after meeting with a dietician and getting put on medication. I thought we were in the clear. We were going down to LaSalle this weekend to celebrate his birthday, which is on the 9th.
This morning my Dad called at 8:30. I was half asleep, so I didn't answer the phone. Then he called Jason's phone, so I knew something was wrong. I called him back, and he told me that my grandpa died early this morning.
I was hoping that he would be around to make a dollhouse someday for my children. I suppose I should be happy that he was at my wedding, because that's more than what I got with my Gramie. Still, it's hard. I don't understand how both my grandparents could die within 6 months of each other. More than that, they were both sick and then getting better when they died, so it was unexpected.
